When I was 6 months old, I spilled oatmeal on the dog. When I wondered if I was going to get in trouble, Mom frowned and said "Just wait 'til your father gets home."
When I was 1 year old, I stood up and walked for the first time. When I worried I would fall, Mom smiled and said "Just wait 'til your father gets home."
When I was 2 years old, I made artwork on the wall. When I wanted to show her, Mom frowned and said "Just wait 'til your father gets home."
When I was 3 years old, I colored inside all the lines. When I wanted to put it on the fridge, Mom smiled and said "Just wait 'til your father gets home."
When I was 6 years old, I said a very bad word. When I asked if I would be spanked, Mom frowned and said "Just wait 'til your father gets home.
When I was 8 years old, I got straight A's at school. When I wanted a reward, Mom smiled and said "Just wait 'til your father gets home."
When I was 10 years old, I got in a fight with another boy. When I said I was sorry, Mom frowned and said "Just wait 'til your father gets home."
When I was 13 years old, I kissed a girl at school. When I was embarrassed, Mom smiled and said "Just wait 'til your father gets home."
When I was 15 years old, I had a naughty magazine. When I tried to hide it, Mom frowned and said "Just wait 'til your father gets home."
When I was 18 years old, I passed my driving test. When I hoped for a car, Mom smiled and said "Just wait 'til your father gets home."
When I was 19 years old, I got in a car accident. When I tried to apologize, Mom frowned and said "Just wait 'til your father gets home."
When I was 21 years old, I got a very good job. When I longed for recognition, Mom smiled and said "Just wait 'til your father gets home."
When I was 24 years old, I got married and moved to the city. Mom cried and said "Thank your father before you go."
When I was 25 years old, my son spilled oatmeal on the dog.
I was home.